An Advent Adventure

I can't believe how fast November flew by, and that it's now December!

Yesterday, after a busy and challenging week at work for me, I decided that this weekend would be dedicated to getting ready for Christmas.  To kick off our weekend, I took Ian to see "Arthur's Christmas" at Movieland Cinemas.  I couldn't tell him the title because I was afraid he would think it was Arthur from PBS.  When we got there, he thought we would be seeing a Thomas the Train movie since we've seen them there before.

Our favorite movie theater

First we bought our tickets ($17!) then a big tub of popcorn and a drink ($11!).  We got to our theater and found some seats and sat through about 15 minutes of ads and previews.  Ian made a big dent in the popcorn while holding on to his ears during the loud parts!

Before the movie started there was a very weird Justin Bieber music video.  But after that, the movie was great.  It was a little long, but Ian was a champ.  When it got to the end though, he jumped up and said, "See Pups!" so it was time to leave.


On the way home we saw a beautiful sunset and lots of Christmas lights.  He may not have gotten all of it, but I did and it was a nice afternoon with my little man.

Ian holds the prayer sheet during Communion

Today Ian had St. Giles' Gate and the lesson was about Advent.  The boys learned about the Holy Family and how Advent is a time of waiting for the Christ Child to come.  Ian was kind of fidgety, but he participated and was very quiet and still during Communion.

Tomorrow we will try to get our Christmas tree up and some of the decorations out.  Christmas is coming!

Another store "conquered"

This evening, on our way home from his music class, Ian and I stopped by BJ's.  We just joined this past summer, so he had not been yet.  I used to take him to Costco (which is very similar, but busier) when he was younger.  But the last few times we went he had a hard time with the long check out lines and the noise level.  BJ's is a nice alternative.  It's not as loud or crowded, and they even have self check-out that goes really quick.  After his initial reluctance to enter a new place, he relaxed and actually said hi to several of the other customers.  All in all it was a good experience and I think we can add BJ's to our list of Ian-friendly places!

An Up and Down Day

I could tell when Ian got off the bus that his day at school had probably not been a good one.  He was chomping down hard on his chewelry and he looked kind of frazzled.

The note from Mrs. Penrod confirmed my fears.  She said it was his first rough day of the year, that he was struggling all day.  Since she mentioned that he was covering his ears a lot, I gave him some Tylenol and some juice and let him chill for awhile.

But then he started giving me a hard time, and I had to break bad on him.  We had a little confrontation, and he finally calmed down and we made peace.  Then we went to music class.  I didn't realize until we were half-way there that I'd forgotten his afternoon meds.  Aaagh!  But he seemed to do fine in music class, even if he was a little more boisterous than usual.

So, on the way home I bought him Wendy's for dinner.  Rob had made spaghetti and I was fixing myself a plate as Ian was wolfing down his meal.  He saw the pasta and asked for some.  I put it on his plate and he ASKED FOR A FORK AND HE USED IT!  This is huge.  Usually he just picks it up and shovels it in, which is why he doesn't get pasta often.  But, he ate a big serving, all with the fork.  Now, he was still a mess when he finished, but I didn't care.  He ate something different with no bribery, and he used a utensil.  I'll take it!

St. Giles' Gate

The special needs program at our church started the Fall session yesterday.  This is a fairly new program, and so far we only have two participants.  Ian is one and Nicky is the other.  Nicky is at the other end of the autism spectrum, and I love having Ian interact with him.  Nicky  is a big brother at home, and even though he is younger than Ian, he applies that same dynamic with him.

Ian and Nicky after class in the Parish Hall

Over the summer one of the classes talked about Noah's Ark.  Ian was focused on "cats" and at the end of the lesson the whole class went to see the stained glass window by the front door.  Nicky was very excited to find a cat (or something sort of like one) in the window and to point it out to Ian.  It was so awesome!

While the boys are in class, Nicky's mom and I have a chance to chat and talk about the challenges we have with our boys.  Although the boys are in very different places, we share a lot of the same worries and concerns.  But we also share some of the quirky and endearing things they do.  I treasure that time.

Ian and Nicky

At the end of the class, the boys come out to get us and we all have communion.  It is a modified version, designed to be brief and meaningful to the children.  Instead of wafers and wine, there is homemade bread and apple juice.  Although Ian is not able to read along with the prayers, I am so impressed with how quietly and respectfully he sits.  I think he senses that this is a special time.  The priest and the teachers do an amazing  job with this program, and I am so thankful for it.  And I'm thankful that Nicky and Ian are now friends.

The Garden Center Trip

This afternoon, Ian and I did some errands.  The last stop was our local Garden Center.  I've been going there for plants, mulch, Christmas trees and produce since before I knew Rob.  It is family owned, and they are from Pittsburgh so we always have a good time talking about the Steelers.

Ian has been coming here for years too.  He especially likes Brian, the owner's adult son.  Whenever we turn into the parking lot, Ian yells, "Brian!"  But, in his typical fashion, he is too shy to talk to him much once we get out of the car.

Brian helps Ian in Fall 2010

Today it was a quick trip.  I knew I wanted a flat of pansies, so I was going to pick one and go.  But, I got started talking with Brian about yesterday's game and Ian made himself at home in his usual spot...in one of the chairs that the family sets out under the pergola.  They are always so nice to Ian without being condenscending; I love them for that.

This is where Ian likes to sit while I shop and visit

When it came time to pay, I noticed Ian getting one of the red wagons they have for customers.  I decided that I would put him to work.  I put the pansies in the wagon and said, "Let's take them to the car."  I gave him a minute to think about it, and he started pulling.  It wasn't easy for him.  The path was rocky, and there was a patch of gravel to go through that was a little tricky, but he did it.  At the car, he started to just drop the handle and get in his seat, but I told him to bring the wagon to the back.  He did, then again tried to bail and not finish.  I told him we had to take the wagon back.  I thought this would not be a winner, but surprisingly he headed back with the wagon.  It took a few prompts but he took it right back where he got it then came right back to the car.

This was last year; he's come a long way

I am so proud of this!  I think he was proud of himself too.  Little by little, I'm letting him do more chores and other things that will lead to a more self-reliant life.  He will always need some help, but I believe he will eventually be able to do a lot of things for himself.  I'm just trying to find the right time and right circumstances to help make him understand HE CAN DO IT!

Fourth Grade Begins

School started again on September 6.  This year, Ian is at a new school.  This is the third school he has attended since starting the pre-K program in 2005.  The good news is that he has the same teacher and now he is so much closer to home....literally across the street, and a few blocks down!

We went for the Open House the week before school started.  Ian had some initial resistance at the front door, but we worked through it.  We were very nicely met by one of the staff who walked us all the way to Ian's new classroom.  Along the way we met the principal, who was very cordial and welcoming.  Once Ian got in the classroom, he made a bee-line for all of his favorite books and made himself at home.  The room itself has undergone a remodeling and is very light and roomy.  There are two other classrooms for autism in the same hall, and at the end of the hall is a huge sensory/cool down room.  Mrs. Penrod told us they will even be bringing in a Wii for the kids to use in there.  As I was talking with other parents and the teacher, Ian made himself at home with some classmates and the aide.  I'm so happy that he is in a much better physical environment than the last few years.  Third grade was really tough for him (and everyone else) because they were doing construction right outside his classroom.  The teacher has already remarked that he is a totally different kid.

The first day of school was very rainy and wet and, as usual, all the buses ran late.   I always try to get pictures of him getting on the bus, etc. but that didn't happen this year.  I took a bunch of pictures inside and this was the best of the bunch.

This picture cracks me up because it is not a typical pose for him at all.  Usually he is very shy around the camera.  But maybe, just maybe, my little man is starting to come into his own and get some confidence.  We'll see how it goes.

Shaking and Blowing

Well, it's hard to believe that the second week of the school year is already over.  Things around here have been very busy since my last post almost a month ago.

The first big event was the 5.8 EARTHQUAKE we had here in Central Virginia on Tuesday, August 23rd.  Ian and I were having a quiet afternoon here at home.  I was upstairs on the computer and he was downstairs watching PBS Kids.  All of a sudden, there was a very loud rumbling that felt like it was coming from our basement.  (Keep in mind I'd never felt an earthquake before!)  My first thought, since we have natural gas coming into the house for our heating, was that the gas line was blowing up.  I ran downstairs, grabbed the phone and Ian, and was starting out of the house while dialing 911 (another first) when it started to dawn on me what was going on.  By then it was over, but I was pretty much a wreck the rest of the afternoon.  Rob was still out in Hawaii visiting Ashby, so it was up to phone calls to my sisters and Facebook to calm me down!  I mean really!  An earthquake here?  There were also 2 fairly strong aftershocks, one of which woke me up out of a sound sleep.  One more reason not to live in California....

The front page the day after the earthquake

Rob did make it home in time, however, for our next big event which was Hurricane Irene.  Although it was "just" a Tropical Storm by the time it came to Richmond, the damage was quite extensive around us.  Fortunately our house was fine, but a tree fell across the road down the street and we were without power for six days.  Naturally, it was the week before school started and I had job interviews and Ian and I both had dental appointments, doctor appointments, etc.  But, we managed to get it all done.  In fact, it was kind of nice to go to places with real lights and air-conditioning.

Ian handled the loss of electricity quite well, mainly because we turned the Trooper into a tv room by using our portable DVD player and the car adapter.  Our friend Erin had power and she was kind enough to share with us so we didn't lose all of our freezer food.  The generators around us roared, and the noise made it hard to sleep so when the power company showed up for repairs, we were all very happy!  There are still signs of damage around us, but things are pretty much back to normal.

Ian chills in his hurricane tv room!

Hurray, here come the power trucks!

Now that all that excitement is past, we're moving on into the 2011-12 school year.....

So sad to see it end....

Thursday was the last day of Camp Pocahontas.  As was said before, it was an Amazing Experience.  Those capital letters are intentional, if not grammatically correct.  Ian has been in a lot of wonderful programs, but this one stands out from the rest!

Becky with a bunny

Every morning I dropped him off, he transitioned right into the classroom and settled in with no problems.  Every afternoon I picked him up, he seemed sorry to go but did not have any problem leaving.  He attended every event with few, if any, problems.  They went bowling, swimming, canoeing, and rock wall climbing.  They also visited a gymnastics place for tumbling and jumping on a trampoline, the Science Museum of Virginia, and the movies for a showing of Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

  The counselors in his group were the BEST!   Kirsten was the coordinator, and Becky, Cathy, Billy, Cindy and Jess were her helpers.  They were honestly sad to see the camp end, and Jess (who I suspect Ian had a crush on) told me that she wanted to take him with her to Tech and make him a little Hokie!  (I know Laurie Bald will be happy to read that!)

Jess shows Ian a baby goat

He was in a group of five children, 3 girls and 2 boys.  He made buddies with the other boy, Kameron, and he was a favorite of one of the girls who seemed to think he was cute.   By the end of the session, I would hear, "There's Ian's mom!" from several of the kids when I came to pick him up.

The classroom door

Cindy, Billy, Becky and Kirsten welcome Ian

Becky and a bunny

Ian pets a snake at the Animal Show

On the last day, the parents were all invited to join the campers for an Animal Show.  I almost wish they had done this at the beginning because I met so many wonderful parents after waving hello for 4 weeks.  The show was amazing and Ian did very well in spite of the noise and all the people.  I was concerned that he would want to leave once he saw me, but he was a champ and we stayed and watched a slide show of all their activities (fun!) and had a pot luck lunch with pizza.  During all the sit-down time, the counselors sat among the campers and parents and that made it even more special.  God bless these caring and compassionate people!  Every parent I spoke to could not have been happier with the program.

The duck at the Animal Show really was loud!

So, camp is over until next summer.  Yesterday Ian woke up and said "Fun at camp?" and I was so sorry to tell him no, camp is all done.  But what great memories we have!

Funny "hats" and food wars

Our weather has been absolutely beautiful the last few days, so Ian and I have been having dinner on our deck.  While we were waiting for it to cook, I did a crossword puzzle and Ian decided to use several things as hats.  He started with the napkin holder, but I didn't have my camera handy at that point.  Then he used the food screens and had a good time smiling for the camera.  It was all good....for awhile.


Then I brought his dinner out.  It was french fries and meatballs.  Turkey meatballs.

He has had meatballs before, but it's been awhile and he wolfed down the fries and pronounced the dreaded "All done!" without even trying the meatballs.  I could see those little heels digging in, but my heels are bigger and I decided to dig in too!

He got up to go inside, but since he has not mastered our screen door he was stuck.  I told him if he took ONE BITE of the meatballs I would open the door for him.  He sat down and seemed ready to prepare for a siege.

The siege begins

I returned to my crossword puzzle and ignored him for awhile.  Then I repeated "the deal" several more times.  He finally budged and came over to the table and plopped himself down.  A lone tear trickled dramatically down his face and he lifted the dreaded meatball with pure trepidation.  It reminded me of Survivor when they used to eat disgusting things for challenges.  Such drama!

I can't believe you're making me eat this!

The most pitiful face ever

It's not bad but I can't tell her that

I'm cute but I'm evil-ha ha ha!

You use it to cover food, but to me it's a hat!

Finally, he took a bite and burst out laughing.  I briefly considered making him eat more, but decided to call it a day and take my victory.  I may have won that battle, but the food wars rage on.....

Being silly

"He is having a great experience!"

The title for this post is in quotation marks because this is what the leader of Ian's camp group told me when I picked him up today.

Wow!

I was kind of nervous about today's activity.  The kids were going to the movies at a local cineplex (not my favorite) and I was concerned about how Ian would do with the crowds, the noise (especially during the trailers), and seeing a movie he was not familiar with.  When I came into the room to get him, the leader immediately said, "He had so much fun!"  Two of the aides looked up and agreed with her and praised his behavior as well.  When  we left, after deciding Ian could bring home his Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head picture, I was grinning ear to ear.

Yesterday Art on Wheels was the activity, and even though that's not Ian's favorite thing, he was happy to show me, and bring home, a decorated foam visor and a few pictures.  Whether he does the work or not, he seems very proud to give me these things and that is an improvement.  Before he could have cared less!

These days at camp are fun for him, but I think he gets tired too.  When I bring him home, I give him a light lunch and let him chill out awhile before we do other things in the late afternoon.  He has no interest in me taking his picture, as can be seen here!

Vivo Summer Session

Vivo is Ian's music class.  For the summer session, it meets on Monday evenings at 6:00.  We have a routine for this.  We leave the house around 5:30 to allow for evening traffic and we usually arrive a few minutes early.  We go in the building (the basement of a very nice church in the more "upscale" part of town) and sit down and wait until the students are called into the classroom.

Ian walking into class

For this session there are some new faces.  Ian is the "veteran" of the group since he is the only one who has done it before.   The new students are Lucy, Elizabeth, Zach and Neil.  As a group, they are very well behaved and attentive and have a wide range of abilities.  Now that he has gotten used to Vivo, Ian seems to enjoy spending time with the other children as well as trying out the instruments more.

Elizabeth

During the class, instruction is led by Heidi and her helpers are Jamaila and Mary Beth.  Everyone is great with the kids and they have very interesting musical backgrounds themselves.  The moms/dads/grandmothers wait outside the classroom and occasionally peek through the class to see how their children are doing.  We also have some good conversations and share information.  Last night we talked about Donna's trip to China to bring Elizabeth to the U.S. as well as a drive-in movie theater in Goochland.  Needless to say, the topics can vary widely!

Waiting for the kids

At the end, the children come spilling out, giggling and running and chatting.  That is about my favorite moment, to see my little guy as part of a happy group that has just had a good time.  We love Vivo!

Camp is still going well

Ian continues to do well at camp.  However, when I went to pick him up today, I saw him hit at and kick at the teacher.  She said it was the first time he'd done it, and that he had a very good day otherwise.  He also stopped immediately as she and I transitioned him out of the room, and that's a big improvement.

The kids have had a busy week!  Monday they went swimming.  Tuesday the Art on Wheels came.  Yesterday they went to CORE Kids for gymnastics fun. (Ian especially loved the trampoline and had a wonderful time) and tie dyed shirts.   Today they went to a place called Armor House out in the East End.  They did some crafts (the one he brought home is shown below) and some things in the garden there and never got around to the water activities that were scheduled but Ian did okay.  Tomorrow they will go to Three Lakes park and go out in canoes.

After camp, we had an appointment with Dr. Mead, who manages Ian's medications.  I treated Ian to a trip to Target, where he picked out a Curious George DVD as a treat for doing so well at camp.  He has been a real superstar all week long....

Farmer's Market....check!

Today we "conquered" another local institution; the Lakeside Farmer's Market.

We are very lucky to have a twice-weekly farmer's market very close to our home.  I've been trying to go on Wednesdays while Ian was at school or camp, but it doesn't always work out.  A few weeks ago, I took him with me on a very busy Saturday morning.  We got as far as the gate, and he would not go further.  So, taking a cue from one of his former teachers, I decided we would do it incrementally and we left.  Wednesdays are a lot quieter since they have longer hours, so we tried again today.

When we got there, Ian immediately started resisting.  He didn't want to get out of the car, didn't want to walk over to the market etc.  But I kept patiently and persistently nudging him along.  Fortunately it's a small space, so we went in, I quickly got 4 ears of corn, and we were done!  He carried the bag (good to have hands busy and a job to do) and even waited very nicely while someone stopped me to fill out a survey.

So proud of Ian!  He is just having the best summer!

I love my boy, but he is not an artist....

From summer school to summer camp

Yesterday was Ian's last day of summer school.  Basically, it's ESY or extended school year, where he continues to work on the goals in his IEP.   I had signed him up for summer camp in March, and it actually started on Tuesday so he missed the first 3 days due to the overlap.

This morning he slept in later than usual, which was fine since camp doesn't start until 8:30.   As with any new situation, I was a little concerned with his reaction to it all and whether I had prepared him well enough for the new event.  I needn't have worried.  From the moment we walked in, everyone was professional and organized and happy to see Ian.  Sometimes just getting him INTO a new place is a challenge, but we didn't have one problem with that.  I gave them the forms I had signed, and they gave me a list of names and cell phone numbers in case I had any questions later.  I left with tears in my eyes because I felt so good about the whole thing.

The activity today was going to a bowling alley.  Apparently Ian did quite well with it for awhile, but when he was ready to go he verbalized it by saying "bus."  No problems with transitions or behaviors.  When I went to pick him up he was perfectly happy playing with two pretty young assistants in the room, and when I asked if he had fun the response was an enthusiastic YES!  How awesome is that?

The picture is of the t-shirt for the program.  The campers wear them on their outings, and I love the design.  Just wish they had one in a smaller size for him, but when you start late you take what you can get....

Berry Bribery

I'm going through a phase.  It could be described as "I'm so sick of looking at chicken nuggets I could scream!" phase.  Ian has been in a food rut for years, and I am over it!  Every morning for breakfast he has, depending on his appetite, 1-3 bananas.  I think we've bought enough bananas over the years to seriously finance, well, a banana republic.  And I don't mean the clothing store.  For snack at school, he has grapes and at home he always wants an apple.  While the fruit is all good, the lunches and dinners are not.  Just about every day he has chicken nuggets and french fries.  Seriously, we buy them in bulk at Costco.  If we go to McDonald's, he orders "chickenfries" as he calls it.  Same thing at Wendy's and Burger King.  This is exactly what I swore, in those long ago days when I was expecting this child, that I said I would never do.  Well, never say never.  Especially when you have a child with Fragile X!
So, I've been posting about this on the Fragile X facebook pages and have received lots of advice (including hot sauce!) and commiseration.  These kids seem to make the typically developing picky child look like a gourmet.  Some only eat hot dogs and yogurt.  Some only cheeseburgers.  Some won't touch fruit, or cheese, or other random foods.  There are a few that will eat everything....and more.  Some parents literally have to lock their cabinets.

Anyway, here's my story about the berries.  If strawberries and blueberries were crack, my son would be a crack whore!  He loves them, and I used that to my advantage today.  I had made him a grilled cheese sandwich and he wouldn't eat it.  I brought the berries out and said if he ate a few bites, he could have some.  The little hand reached out and picked up a small piece of the sandwich.  I almost held my breath as he held it to his lips and stopped, then put it in and ate it!  I gave him a small serving of berries.  We repeated this several times until the sandwich was mostly gone.  Hurray!  I know this is not earth-shattering news, but it gives me hope that we can continue to try new things now and then and hopefully move on from the dreaded chicken nuggets.  Wish us luck!

He passed with flying colors!

Today we got the results from Ian's 3rd grade VAAP, which is the Virginia Alternate Assessment Program.  I had kind of forgotten about it since he took it way back in March, so it was a pleasant surprise to open it and find out how well he did.  There are 4 categories:  History and Social Studies, Mathematics, Reading, and Science.  The weakest subject was, not surprisingly, math, where he scored 14 out of a possible 20 points.  But he passed!  In the other subjects, he received perfect scores!  I give his teacher and her staff all the credit because I know they worked so hard with Ian.  Now, two more days of summer school and then fun for the rest of the summer.  You deserve it Fourth Grader!

Okay, here we go!

This is my first post.  I think this will be an interesting way to share family news, pictures and information without being on Facebook.  I'm kind of stumbling around with the layout, etc. but I learn best through trial and error, so I'll keep going until I get the hang of it.